"am i right, am i wrong, or am i just dreaming"

from erasure's am i right.
i do feel like this whole having a child thing is just a dream. maybe it really is too good to be true! am i right for feeling this way? am i wrong for having doubts and fears?
been having low sugar episodes, lately. after taking my morning medications. think i'm not eating enough of a meal along with them. i eat throughout the day, but morning, never too hungry till lunch time. i do need to go see the doctor, again, i may need my medication adjusted! which would be wonderful, i started out taking two medications for type 2 diabetes, now i am only on one med. having the dosage reduced is one step closer to not having to rely on medication! i need to get better about testing my blood sugar, some days i completely forget. i had such a good routine going and being really good with the diet, now, i'm just bad. but, my sugars are always under control, if not too low! haven't had high sugars in quite a while! i do need to get back on track!

she had her .

she had her period. no baby. guess we will still keep trying!

wtf? so i may need to change this to 2+1=4?

so. m & b may have called it quits! wtf? this is strange! just found out about this info today! i am kinda shocked! b would still want in on the baby deal, but how so very uncomfortable! i love b. i love m. this really sickens me! bummer. i'm just hoping m is okay. she says she is, but, i worry! if she is pregnant will the stress of this be too much on her? could the stress cause harm on her or/and the baby? if the fertilization attempts were a bust, will this be the end of it? my mind is on hyperspeed!

13 days...

13 days or so pregnancy test will take place. tick tock....................

one more this morning, six attempts total.

yep, six fertilization attempts total. it will be amazing if one took. so, again, we wait. wait to test and hope for no period!!!

twice as nice, last night!

two deliveries, last night! so, it's a waiting game, now. how amazing it will be if it worked! five fertilization attempts total! with delivery, we drove the short few block's to b's house, called m and they came out to get the specimen cup. if the neighbor's were watching, they might have thought we were performing a drug deal. especially when i handed the cup over, discretely, and they would say thank you, and i would say, have fun! then we would drive home! the last delivery, i was waiting for a police officer to appear to see what was going on! laughing about it, ray said that happened on an ally mcbeal episode. (or something close to). so, now we just wait. in a couple weeks we can do a pregnancy test, i hear. if it didn't take, we will do all this all over again untill it does take! time goes by so slowly!

three times a charm?...

delivered three specimen cups. will try round two tomorrow when m & b are home around 7 pm. plenty of time for ray to rest and get ready for it, again! read pumpkin, celery, and red meat will increase semen production, as well as keeping well hydrated! good night to all. xoxo.